Forget about quotes about grief and loss. It's easy for someone else to tell us how we should be feeling when someone we love dies. As many of you know, my family lost my beloved grandmother last September. Although the loss was difficult for me, it has most profoundly impacted the spouse she left behind. She and my grandfather remained married for sixty-four years, and he has experienced immense difficulty coping with the grief resulting from the loss.
My husband and I traveled to Texas this weekend to spend some time with him, and he continues to struggle with his feelings about my late grandmother's departure from the physical world. We do what we are able while we are with him to help with household chores and the like, but I feel concerned, hearing my grandfather talk about how alone he feels and know that no quotes about grief and loss or words of encouragement will alleviate his emotional pain.
As a spirit medium I sense my late grandmother all the time around me. She was an extremely loving yet candid person with a wonderful sense of humor, who would do anything she could to help someone in need. Today I told my grandfather that my husband and I were going to help put up his Christmas decorations. He responded, "I'm not going to bother with it this year. Just leave it alone." Although I understand his feelings, I know as a mental health counselor that the very thing, that maintains depression is avoiding those activities, which could ultimately help us to feel better. When I have clients, who are depressed and feeling unmotivated, I teach them to use a technique called behavioral activation. Behavioral activation is simple. I begin by having clients to identify three or more activities they used to enjoy but have not been doing for themselves lately, as well as three responsibilities, with which they have been procrastinating. Once they have identified these, I have them to do one or more of these activities each day and to rate the degree, to which they feel depressed--both before and after the activity. I also have them to rate their degree of pleasure and achievement--both before and after the activity. Once they notice which activities help them to feel less depressed and more motivated, I help clients to intentionally schedule these each week--ultimately helping to alleviate their depression and give them more of a sense of daily purpose. Sounds simple, right? That's because it is.
So, what did we do with the Christmas decorations? My husband and I put them up for my grandfather, and while he initially felt discouraged with the activity, I couldn't help but to notice how his mood improved some, once his apartment was decorated for the Christmas holiday. Pretty cool, right?
If you've been struggling with coping with grief and loss or depression, forget about quotes about grief and loss, and focus on behavioral activation instead. I promise you, you'll be glad that you did. For those of you battling depression, I'd be honored to talk with you and have online counseling and therapy services, with most insurance plans accepted. If you would like to connect with a loved one, who has left the physical world, you might prefer to have a mediumship reading.
I have a number of related recommended resources on my website, which you might also find helpful. Love and Light to each of you.
Comentários